


The Pull of the Dark

by ReclessAbandon



Category: Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Meditation, Originally Posted on Tumblr, The Force, dark side, dark side force vision, dark side vision, force cave vision, force vision, illusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23263069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReclessAbandon/pseuds/ReclessAbandon
Summary: A meditation session has gone wrong when you have reached in too far into the recesses of the Force within. You are haunted by the ghost of your past, a distorted and fragmented memory, and an inner struggle that you have accidentally revisited: all of which you have accidentally tapped into.
Relationships: Cal Kestis/Reader
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

You feel yourself shifting back to reality. You open your eyes and look around. Seated by your side is Cal, who welcomes you back with a smile.

“One more go?” He said invitingly.

“Sure.”

You both resume meditation position, it took a few minutes for you to reach out and step in subconsciously. Even in your motionless seat, something troubled you that it caused your eyebrows to furrow.

You had a feeling: warmth, softness, and then finally cool winds.

You began to see: the grass, the life around the planet, until… 

Something felt cold, lifeless, and artificial.

The abrupt change caused your eyes to shoot open. Something doesn’t feel right. Cal is not by your side anymore.

“Cal?”

No response, except for the echo of your voice saying his name.

I don’t think he went back to the ship. You tell yourself.

You navigate your way from the subterranean refuge to the surface, hopping from one rock top to another until you got to the rock column where the ship is; to your surprise, instead of finding the ship, you ended up at the mesa—but the Binog is absent from its nest.

“I swear I went the right way,” you reassured yourself.

No use in crying over it, then. Might as well take the opportunity to explore this part while the Binog is nowhere to be seen. You’re not surprised that it’s like any other plateau in the planet until something interesting caught your attention.

A crater, no bigger than the hole traps that lead straight down to Oggdo Bogdo’s den.

You knelt by the rim and saw that very little sunlight poured through it—despite the size of the mouth. You pick up a small rock, raised it in mid-height and released it from your fingers.

It was silent for a few seconds, estimated to be at least 15 seconds, until the rock’s impact to the surface sounded—albeit not too faint, not loud either—and you wagered it’d be just a six-foot drop, if you land on the right spot.

You search for vines or rocks that could serve as footholds and handholds to climb down on. You positioned yourself to climb down, so far so good. It has been a few meters from the mouth now, you just have to pace yourself and levy your weight just right to avoid the vines from snapping.

_Snap!_

A vine that you were holding on to snapped apart! You exclaimed and fell to the unknown abyss. Your back stung from the impact of hitting the water’s surface. The cold pricked and nipped at your pores, you kick and flail underwater but the water felt magnetized, pulling you ever deeper.

_“Relax, young Padawan. Impatience can dull your mind and focus.”_

_Master, was that you? Master, where are you?!_

You swerve around in the water. The voice sounded clear despite being heard underwater. You search for your late master’s voice or face, but nothing can be seen through the blur of the midnight-blue water.

You stopped panicking and propelled yourself upwards for air. You swam to the surface and pulled yourself up from the water. The cold from the water and the chill of the wind did a number on you as you trembled and twitched; struggling to relax and let the warmth set in, you thought it was best to walk it off.


	2. Chapter 2

The place was foreboding as it was gloomy, you searched for the way out. It was literally an underground cave but an intricate one at that, it’s as if another forgotten Zeffo tomb has been built in here.

Nothing but rocks, rocks, and more rocks. A few minutes later, you finally found an entryway within the cave.

“Finally!” You sighed in relief, running up to go through it.

The smile on your face dissolved as the darkness of the inner cave was lit up by floor and wall light panels in succession. This wasn’t just any hallway.

It was the corridor of a Republic command ship.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” You mutter under your breath as you tread along the path.

Naturally, you still looked for the way out—even in these trance-like states—when you found the door and hit the switch to open it, it does not budge. You continue to press the switch again until a gust of cold air brushed past your nape, making you turn around.

At the end of the hallway, someone very familiar stood. Your eyes grew wide at the sight of her.

“Master…?”

This was only the shell of the woman whom you called “Master” and “Friend,” and sometimes in great secrecy, “Mother.”

You knew your eyes met, when you have registered that it was really her, she hung her head low, hiding her sullen face and sad eyes. She turned around and went through a door.

“Master, wait!” You shouted, choking back tears as you ran towards her direction while extending your arm forward, as if to reach and hold her.

The door hummed as it opened, you step out to the other side and saw your master standing with her back turned to you. Impatient and eager to see and hold her again, you approached her.

“Master, I have so much to tell—” The eagerness in your voice softens as you take her by the wrist to gingerly turn her to face you.

To your horror, her body was riddled with blaster marks—all the way up to her left cheek and temple, ripping open the skin of her face, and a seared hairline that travels to the far side of her head—her ghastly appearance caused you to jerk away, you lost balance and fell to the ground. The lifeless look on her face made your terrified heart sink. She never spoke nor did you continue what you were supposed to say, but she kept her eyes on you quite unsettlingly.

“I don’t understand…” you panted, struggling to breathe while you couldn’t avert your eyes from the form that your master takes.

She knelt down, bowed her head and closed her eyes—as if positioning herself for meditation.

“Master!”

No response. Not even a look.

“MASTER!!”

From the shadows behind her, a figure looms, it comes closer until this figure was visible.

Your chest constricted when you saw it was the Second Sister, Trilla, brandishing her dual-lightsaber and preparing for an overhead strike.

“BEHIND YOU!!!”

Nothing. She doesn’t even seem to acknowledge that Trilla was behind her.

“NOOOO!!!”

As Trilla was lowering her arm to make the swing; out of impulse, you pull out your own lightsaber and blocked Trilla’s strike. Even through that mask, you can see and feel her smirk, and across your eyes you find that your lightsaber was a different color.

Red.


	3. Chapter 3

Your stance faltered as you were confused about how your lightsaber came to be. You pushed away Trilla and then, perhaps with all your anger, you strike her down, killing her instantly with a giant slash across her torso.

Her body made a heavy thud on the metal floor, followed by the clatter of her saber; you rushed to your master, shaking her on the shoulders, and when she finally hoists her head up to look at you in the eye, she bared her teeth on her mutilated face.

“My blood, her blood… _his_ blood, are all on your hands, child!” she hissed.

You shake your head, “No, I saved you!”

“Save me? Save me!? You would have been a better loss than I!”

You were so horrified with her words and face that you didn’t speak further.

“And yet I received none of it, especially from you!! Not only were you a failure, but useless too! Your death would have gone unnoticed with the others, but I received their shots! Well, don’t just stand there, SAY SOMETHING!!!”

“NO, YOU’RE WRONG!!”

“Yes,” she hissed, prolonging the S. When she opened her mouth to speak again, her voice has distorted into a menacing baritone. “I see that anger in you. A perfect trait for an Inquisitor. You would have replaced the one you’ve slain very well.”

“NOOOO!!!”

You jolted up, your scream shook the entire chamber while your mutilated master remained kneeling, not removing you from her sight for a second; the pipes hissed and spat out smoke, the hollow metal of the entire room clanged, and the lights flickered ceaselessly until one by one of them short circuited and died out.

“[y/n]…!!” A faint voice called your name.

You continued to shout out all of your anger and regret. The destruction isn’t stopping any time soon.

“[y/n], come on!” the voice continued.

Under the crumbling roof of the chamber, you ran away from the scene. Far away from the eyes of the distorted ghost of your dead master. A strong force from across the chamber sucked you in, it almost felt like warping through hyperspace.

“[y/n]! [y/n], come on, stay with me here!” the voice became clearer and louder.

“No!” you gasped as you opened your eyes.

You looked around and saw that you were still in Bogano, with Cal.

Your last shout echoed and startled the lizards, causing them to scamper away on the walls and slip into the cracks to hide.


	4. Chapter 4

It was so loud that even Cere heard the faint echo from the ship when the sound escaped the cave. Worry enveloped her very core as she looked to the general direction where your voice came from.

“You can fight it, [y/n],” Cere muttered under her breath, but she said it for you like a prayer.

When you realized that you’re now out of your trance, tears streamed down your cheeks, and you try to catch your breath.

“Are you okay, [y/n]?” Cal asked, impatient and worried.

“I-I’m fine,” you stuttered. “I’m sorry… sorry I worried you.”

“Come on,” he gestured with his head. “Let’s go back to the ship.”

He stood up and offered you his hand, you look at it and then to him, the words of your master rung in your head, recalling how she eerily emphasized the word “his” and you don’t know any boy who meant so much to you other than Cal. It was always him.

In the subterranean refuge, you were so cautious of tumbling down the slope that you didn’t slide down in one swoop. You were capable of climbing short heights, but wall-running suddenly became a challenge.

Both of you stood at the edge of the platform where there’s a ridged wall on its side. Cal went first, you watched him do it with immense ease as if it was second nature to walking; so, when it was your turn, you had to step back to gain some momentum, and—for that brief moment—your focus was as sharp as it normally would be.

You were able to bring yourself to the wall of vines for you to climb on and follow Cal’s lead. Reaching this far somehow boosted your morale but not enough for you to be confident with yourself again. You head on to the bigger wall of vines that led to the plateau.

As you climbed, you can feel the chafing in your grip as you tighten your clutches while struggling to pull yourself farther up. When you were almost close to the opening, Cal’s hand appeared in front of you—you look up and see him looking at you with a mellow expression.

“Come on,” he softly said, urging you to take his hand.

You took hold of his hand, he pulls you up and drags you away from the mouth of the hole. He helps you to stand up, too. He checked you out from head to toe, and noticed that your hands are shaking and your fingers are twitching.

Cal brings his hand closer to yours at a shy pace, when his pointer finger made contact with your knuckles, both of your pointer fingers have interlocked. You shied away from his eyes that were looking at you so tenderly. When you couldn’t help it, you looked at the sight of your fingers linked together as if making a pinky promise.

He latched onto them like a hook until he slid his hand through the spaces between your fingers, gently clutching your small hand and squeezing his palm against yours. Cal took the lead on the way back to the Mantis.


	5. Chapter 5

Eventually, it got dark out and you all set up camp just outside the Mantis. After all, it’s not every day the crew gets to relax under the stars without the Inquisitors hunting them with an army chock full of Stormtroopers at gunpoint, so this was a good time to unwind.

From time to time, Cere would notice your shifting eyes and anxious body language, and out of concern for you, she would ask if you are feeling alright—in the back of your mind, you wondered if she had heard your scream when you woke up from that horrible vision. However, this little hearty get-together somehow eased yourself from your worries.

When the get-together around the campfire ended, you insisted to stay behind when they were all heading in for tonight. You also volunteered to put the fire out before you head inside. You huddle your knees close to your chest while you lousily toss blades of grass and dead leaves to the fire.

“Hey, do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all.”

He sat down next to you with his legs crossed over each other, watching you lazily stoke the fire with scraps. It was so quiet between the two of you that only the crackling fire spoke. Neither of you knew who was going to talk first; you didn’t know what to say to start a conversation, he knows something but the timing might be bad.

“Listen, [y/n],” he started. “I don’t know what happened to you back there—what you saw or what you felt—but I can’t help but notice you’ve been… off lately.”

“I’ve had the most terrifying vision, Cal. I saw my master again—but she was very different, far different from how I remember her—and then Trilla showed up, she was about to strike my master but I stopped her…” You trailed off.

“But you stopped her,” Cal repeated. “And?”

“My lightsaber was red,” there was a pause. “And I killed Trilla—just to save my master. Then she started telling me that your blood, hers, and Trilla’s are on my hands. And she blamed me for her death—it was the only nightmare that was constantly haunted me ever since I escaped. Like a leech.”

Cal angled his head to a slight tilt and shifted in his position. The glow of the fire illuminated half of his face. His eyelids drooped and his jaw clenched. He knew the feeling too well—when he had the vision at the Zeffo temple in Dathomir and had broken his lightsaber accidentally.

“Acceptance can be the most difficult thing you could ever do if it involves the past, moreso if regret is there too,” Cal muttered quietly. “But that doesn’t mean you aren’t better than it, it doesn’t mean that you can never fight it back either.”

“Was it hard, fighting it back?”

“Yeah, because it had a lot to do with myself. The conflict was within me,” Cal firmly said. “Even if it was hard, accepting something to become a part of me—even if it was something that scared me so much before—kind of made me feel better about myself, stronger even.”

“I wish I could do that, too,” you muttered under your breath.

“And you can,” Cal encouraged, taking your hand again and gave it a light squeeze. “I know you can.”

“Thanks, Cal,” you sighed with great relief, as if a burden has been removed from your shoulders.

“Your master would’ve been proud of you, if she saw how far you’ve come,”

From the ship’s entrance stood Cere, leaning against the door frame watching you two. She crosses her arms together, hearing the faint words and laughter between you and Cal. Greez was with her.

“Do you think the kids are gonna be okay?” Greez whispered while looking at you and Cal from the Mantis’s door.

“Oh, don’t worry, Captain,” Cere assured, a confident smile curling up on her face. “I think they’re going to be alright.”

Under the moonlight, you two exchange smiles, BD-1 wants in on the coziness so he hops onto your lap and snuggles himself between the two of you like a puppy, you two whisper inside jokes to each other and share a good laugh; finally, you were able to relax and breathe easy. Cal closed in to steal a kiss on your forehead while warming yourselves up by the fire.


End file.
